A lame post

As the title brought down the meaning, this is actually a lame post here.
I wish i could shout out loud my thought and feeling with someone?here?seaside?
nobody could help me and I'm not even purposely go to seaside just to shout?!
so, the choice of me is just to write my feelings at here..
I'm not well-understand myself actually!
I'm not understand what happened on me seriously.
feel that I'm upset with some stuff, and yet i can't figure it out!
maybe is about friendship? or I'm in love with someone?
I'm going to be crazy!

FRIENDS,
maybe that's my character! I'm not well to express my love to you guys.
i feel that I've been neglected by you all. Maybe my self's character is too deep inside?
maybe I'm afraid i am doing something wrong in front of you all!
for example, I'm afraid to tell you guys if that things is not nice or whatever!
i didn't even have the same thought with you guys!
whenever i feel the things nice yet, you guys feel so ugly and not suitable!
i knew it's useless when i gave any suggestion to you guys, so i choose quite.
when I'm quite, you guys feel that I'm no used!
and maybe just because of my this character, i feel that i been neglected by you guys!
i though we were the best friends?
i love to be with you guys when the class ended.
i love when the class ended, we headed to some where else to play or eat.
actually, I'm not going there to eat or what, i just love to be with you guys!
that's why i used to found a lot of excuses not to back to alpine!
at last, although you guys pretend in front of me,
but i feel that I've been neglected ... that's why I'm so emotional this few weeks~ ):

SOMEONE,
I'm been searching you around me for the long time!when are you going out to meet me here?
I'm lack of love, lack of blissful,lack of hug, lack of kiss and the most important
I'M LACK OF CARE !


AND,
i already figured out, where i look so upset nowadays!
that is because of friendship!
i do care what are you guys think about me!
i do care what are you guys did it to me!
i do care you guys meet out without inform me! (although it's none of my business)
i do really care our friendship!!
but why? ... speechless now ...
I've no idea what to describe my feeling now! I'm crying now actually!
BECAUSE I CARE OF YOU GUYS!

that's all i want to shout out here..
i knew it's lame,stupid and no used!
but, no any place to lend me to shout so, accept here T_T
lastly, i love you guys so much friends!